1. |
Introduction
01:19
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2. |
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It’s my last semester at this community college for me. I may hate the government, but at least I go to school for free. Let’s do Half Apps when I get off work, I’ll call up all the guys. It’s something while our friends live the best four years of our lives. Gather ‘round me, all, we are witnesses to divorce, victims of broken hearts and burnt-minds and all our hands were forced into participating in this dead American dream. I guess you could call this an anthem or an attempt at one at least. From intersections we will scream: “this place won’t get the best of me.” We’re the patron saints of pipe dreams and anxiety. We’re the ghosts of our former selves clawing at basement ceilings. We fuck shit up, we rule the night, we look for reasons to stay just hoping by tomorrow that things will be okay. I feel another Northeastern winter coming on soon. It’s cold as balls out but it beats just sitting here in my room. I’ve got my hoodie wrapped around me; I’m by the fire with my friends hoping for something to happen by the time that this year ends. We’re done feeling like we’re dying. We will bloom or wither trying.
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3. |
Fireball
02:52
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I had the hands of God, but the intentions of Lucifer. You were a fallen angel, too. I said some things I kind of meant, but told my friends I didn’t on that thin mattress on the floor. I couldn’t pick the words out from your alcohol-soaked breath as my heart slammed into your spine. As we lay there in the dark, I never will forget how you moved closer when I asked. The faces on your bracelet still judge me for slurring the truth into the pillow we shared.
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4. |
When the Lights Go Down
06:15
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They said I could be anything and placed that cap onto my head and diploma into my hand and just said “goodbye and good luck!” but it turns out I became nothing and goddamn if I’m not good at it. But I’ve been counting days until a spectral mark on the calendar and I’m like “damn.” All of my friends seem to have some well-written plan but I seem to have misplaced my pen and my yellowing notebook. And I wait for Nick to come downstairs and I sit there and ask myself “Can you get paid for being a piece of shit without running for office?” and I say “oh, won’t you carry me home? I’m too tired to stand for much longer.” Bring me back to my bed, tuck me in, kiss my head. Tell me everything is gonna be just fine. They said we could be anything and told us we could change the world but I just want to change the hours of sleep I’ve been getting at night cuz I’m getting tired of seeing all these ghosts in the road lit by streetlamps and I take my pills and hit the gas and mow them all down on the road. They die again, but not for long. But I’m planning on laying waste to this suburban street I call home; I’m plotting a revolution from the comfort of Bobby’s apartment where I have to sleep on the floor ‘cause they’ve got no furniture yet where not being a poet means nothing to me but that’s still quite a lot and I slur… When the lights go down and we are all alone and the ghosts come out to play and it is time to leave
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5. |
I Like You
05:15
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I hate the way you make my smile linger but I like the soreness in my face. You think that I’m bad luck, but I think that you’re a good omen. I guess we’ll just agree to disagree. You and your sleepy mind work too hard and that costume you live in don’t fit you right so leave it on the floor; come in your t-shirt and your jeans and come sit with me in this cloud of wishful thinking. The space between us is packed heavy with unspoken words so let’s get closer; they won’t fit here anyway. When you laugh hard it sounds ugly, but not the ugly that I am. The birthmark below your clavicle is always watching me and I’m always watching back. I guess I just want to tell you that I like you. Angel, won’t you save me from my own mind and let me play chords on your piano teeth? I could be your fall from grace, you could be my redemption. But let’s be real, you’re not that dumb. If the songs they play at my job are how I’m supposed to feel. I don’t ever want to feel that way but I’d give it a shot for you.
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6. |
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Misery loves company, so come sit with me for a while. I’ll ask you where you’ve been today, you’ll ask the same about my smile and I wish that I could tell you that I’ve been doing okay but some days it’s enough to just get out of bed and say that I’m trying. By some miracle, I passed all my classes this spring. I haven’t quit my job yet, so one could say that I am winning. I’ve spent the last year as a spirit passing in and out of walls but if I told you that I’ve changed and I have finally heard the call, I’d be lying. But I’m trying my best to enjoy the sun because it won’t be there forever though my heart and mind have got me by the throat and though my job may own my soul, and this place has eaten me whole, I’ll fight my way to find a scrap of hope. I don’t think I’ll ever love the person that I am and I don’t know how to have fun unless I’m out at shows with Sam but I’ve got green lights going all the way home down Portion tonight. I’m sad but I’m not going down without a fucking fight because we’re dying.
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